Four months today Mike and I are getting married. We are psyched about the being married thing, it feels like the most natural thing in the world and I honestly wouldn’t want to spend my life hanging out with anyone else and our tiny dog. The wedding thing however is a bit surreal. Our KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) chill day is still on track to be chill, but there are unexpected details that need attention and vendors who need decisions and question we never saw coming and definitely don’t know the answers to. It’s all taking a lot more brain power than I think either of us anticipated, and a lot more money!
For us, we’ve found a few tricks to managing this so far (and things could change, there’s another four months of wed-think left). Firstly, we’ve planned this shindig together and if there’s a task one of us finds overwhelming (usually me) or can’t be arsed with (usually me) the other picks it up. Secondly, we made the decision at the outset not to overthink the party. It’s easy to get swept up in doubting your choices and looking at a million venues, dresses or cakes just in case, but honestly I reckon most of the time you’ll end up going back to the first thing you looked at, so it’s easier just to cut out the faff and go with your gut. Finally, we’ve chosen to use vendors who are also our friends! It’s awesome being able to support your friend’s businesses and it also means we already have a relationship, which makes things a lot easier (let me make it clear, we are paying going rate to our friends, the decision to use their services is because we want to support their businesses and help them grow!).
So far we’ve managed to sort our our venue, the registrar, a photographer, food, music, cake, my dress and some random decor stuff (that never crossed our minds we’d need to think about). We’ve also started to think about our honeymoon/excuse for a fancy trip and are working with an amazing travel agent to put something really special together. Our budget is a constant juggle, and we’ve found that some expenses (my dress) have been much less than anticipated, and some have been way more (furniture for our dry hire venue).
We also can’t really get our heads around the idea we’re having a wedding. We’ve been to lots of other people’s weddings and they’re always lovely but I can’t imagine myself at the centre of it all, and I’m actually a bit worried it could trigger some social anxiety for me. One of the things that has always worried me about getting married is the sense that ‘the bride’ is public property, and that type of attention makes me super uncomfortable. Hopefully our friends and family know me well enough to know this, but just in case we’ve designed our day with the aim of minimising those intense moments I find difficult. I’m desperate to share how we plan to do this, but it would mean giving away details of our ‘big day’ (help me, I hate that term) and I don’t want to spoil the surprises - rest assured I’ll fill you in after the event.
Planning a wedding can be a head fuck. Sometimes you feel like you’ve lost your identity and all people want to talk about is wedding stuff. You worry that people will judge your taste and you ruminate on the very weird idea that spending a day messing around in a big white dress is supposed to be the pinnacle of your existence, the best day of your life and what you’ve been waiting for. I am psyched for marriage, but the wedding is kinda just a nice party (once the legal bit is out the way).
Have you planned a wedding? How did you find it? Tell me what was good/bad/weird in the comments.
* images: Let Me Show You Love, shot at Commonwealth Las Vegas.